:-)

Yes, happiness is something very simple. I have a headache, but it doesn’t matter at all. Furthermore, I just cleaned my *very* dirty teamug at work by rubbing salt (which happened to be in my drawer, go figure) and it worked beautifully (It even made me a little sad that no one walked by as I was doing it, looking at me as if I was an oddball and thus giving me the chance to explain what I was doing–but you can’t have ‘em all, obviously). Today is one of those days when it costs me absolutely no energy at all to be friendly and kind to people. I am no longer freaking out about getting glasses (the day could very well be nigh!) and nothing really seems as giant a hurdle as it seemed a while ago. Is that a grammatical sentence? Who cares.

Now then, is there a secret to all of it? Well, no, not really. Still, I am going to pretend there is one, because giving advice is like a drug. Even when there’s no one around to hear you. Whenever I start to worry and tense up and stress and flip out, I try to look at this picture of complete and utter relaxation. Here is someone who’s got it all figured out …

All those things I was freaking out about, this little baby wouldn’t give a crap. Wisdom comes in small packages and sleeps soundly.

You know it’s time to hit the books again when:

you image-google baby animals (my favourites are hamsters and hedgehogs).

you find yourself in love with your new vacuum-cleaner.

you’re unsure whether it is actually called a vacuum-cleaner.

it takes over 20 minutes to solve the ‘evil’ sudoku.

you realize your fingers have physically memorized your password at Etsy. oh, danger.

the sight of christmas-posts on pretty blogs makes you go all grumpy.

The writing process: a day in the life of …

Spend half the day (at least the whole morning, but there isn’t much morning when you get up at 11.30) thinking about starting, which fills the soul with an overload of conflicting emotions and feelings (aversion? excitement? joy? resistance? fear? frustration? hope? boredom? annoyance? pleasure? all of the above?)

Recover from said emotions by internet window shopping, until saturated. This may and often does take hours.

Think “oh jeez I might as well.” 

Open the Word file. (Major step)

Immediately start doing something else again, and preferably two things at the same time. 

Realize I really ought to write something, seeing as that deadline is so and so many hours away. 

Realize I really ought to eat something by now. It’s food over studying. always. 

Lather, rinse, repeat cycle.

Somewhere have 45 minute burst of typing and thoughts and creativity. 

Phew, that was intense. My pinky is still trembling.

Give up for the night, feel good, and think “God, I love writing”.

To thine own self be true

See, I know some Shakespeare. But enough of him. It’s nearly 2009 (yes) and that means it is time for resolutions. Blahblah resolutions. I don’t feel like saying “this year I will be superefficient and finally have a handle on those damn dishes” or “I will lose 5 kilograms and be officially bony and generally unhealthy-looking” or “this year I will be an amazing student and be on top of all my assignments”. No.

I am now 25 years old, and have done enough thinking for a 75-year-old (on the topic of myself, and self-improvement, and on other stuff too but trying to keep it short right now). So no more. Blah. 

2008 was, amongst other things, the year of mastering/coming to terms with my hair, of finding a lead on intellectual interests, and of finally not underestimating my own academic capabilities anymore. Phew. Just in time. 

Anyhoo. The point of this (new) blog is to have a place for documenting my experiments of the mind. That is my resolution: To make new pathways of thought, to explore, to investigate, to probe and to imagine. I don’t exactly know what the hell any of that means just yet. But I guess that’s the entire point. It is supposed to be a project which will bring together my academic work and the questions I have in daily life, along with very diverse strands of inspiration. It is a sincere attempt to turn around the vicious circle of self-conscious thought (obsession, worry, criticism). And it’s supposed to get me writing again.

So there we go. Hello 2009, I can see you peaking round the corner. Loving those bangs, by the way.